


Starring Role

by shitai



Category: CROSS GENE
Genre: And Yongseok's just sort of there, Angst, Break Up, Casper and Sangmin are married, Crying, Emotional neglect, Inspired by Music, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Relationship Issues, Toxic Relationship, Yongseok is ignored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-25 20:57:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12541060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitai/pseuds/shitai
Summary: "It almost feels like a joke to play out the part, when you are not a starring role in someone else's heart."In which Yongseok joins a polyamorous relationship for more love, but he just gets even lonelier.





	Starring Role

Yongseok knew this was a little unorthodox, a strange relationship. Being in a relationship with a married couple. When he had first met Casper and Sangmin, at the party he didn't want to go to, he had thought that they would talk once and never see each other again. He didn't bargain on becoming friends with them both, crushing on them both, and then being invited to be in a relationship with them. It was most certainly a welcome prospect though. Casper and Sangmin were like yin and yang. Where Casper was rough, outgoing and flirtatious, Sangmin was soft, calm and sweet. They were like two peas in a pod, two halves of a whole.

And that was precisely the problem.

They were two halves of a whole. They fit together perfectly. No room for another person, no room for Yongseok. He felt both trapped between them and distanced from them, and it was both stifling and crushing. 

Sangmin got all the goodnight kisses, Casper got the surprise presents bought for him, Sangmin got the care and homemade soup when he was sick, Casper got the cuddling on the couch when they watched a film, and Yongseok got the armchair in the corner.

At first, he put up with it. They were a married couple getting used to having a new person in their dynamic, it was only natural that he wasn't always put first. There had to be some compromises. So Yongseok got used to not always being the centre of attention. He tried not to be greedy and was more of a giver than a receiver. He lay his head on Casper's shoulder when they had some alone time and watched his favourite shows with him with him. He fussed over Sangmin, making sure he was eating well, played with his hair and sang to him when he asked for it. They lived in as much domestic bliss as Yongseok could muster.

After a few months, it grew to the point where Yongseok started questioning everything they told to him in quiet, sleepy whispers when they were in bed together, or the quick pants when they were having sex together. It happened when they were out in public together, Casper and Sangmin holding hands and talking as Yongseok walked beside them. Yongseok decided to be bold and reached for Sangmin's hand, interlacing their fingers and squeezing Sangmin's hand gently, before his hand was shaken off.

"Not in public. People'll think we're weird, three guys holding hands. We get weird enough looks as it is. Sorry." Sangmin explained quietly. Yongseok brushed it off, as he did with most things until it came to the night and he couldn't sleep.

And he realised that Sangmin was ashamed to be seen with him in public.

That was the first night he silently cried, both his boyfriends so close to him but so far away from him.

Yongseok soon learned to suck the lack of attention up. He got used to Sangmin and Casper cuddling in bed whilst he is left alone. He got used to walking behind them when they were outside. He got used to having to muffle his sobs every night because he loved Sangmin and Casper so much that he felt his heart would burst, but they would never act the way he hoped they felt. He hoped they felt the same way he did. But he couldn't be quite sure.

It all came to a point one night. Casper rolled over, kissed Sangmin's cheek and said a quiet "I love you," so quiet Yongseok almost couldn't hear. But he heard well enough, and that was what pushed him over the edge. He burst into noisy sobs.

Sangmin rolled over, turning to face Yongseok, who by this point had buried his head in his arms and curled his legs up next to him, making himself as small as he could possibly be. It wasn't like he needed to though, he was already the smallest out of all three of them.

"Seokkie, baby? Are you ok?" Sangmin asked, reaching out to place a hand on Yongseok's shoulder. Yongseok flinched away, shuffling backwards and away from Sangmin and Casper.

"Don't call me that." He said quietly, shaking his head.

"What, baby?" Sangmin asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why not? What's wrong?"

"Because I'm not your fucking baby. Not fucking anymore." Yongseok muttered, screwing his eyes shut.

"What happened?" Casper asked, sitting up on his elbows. Normally, Yongseok would indulge in the sight of Casper shirtless and would enjoy seeing him like this, but now he hated the sight. He detested it, how Casper could be so blase with half his body bare in front of him as he ignored and excluded him.

"You! You two fucking happened! You're so wrapped up in each other that you forget I'm here!" Yongseok retorted, still not looking up at either of them.

"We don't forget about you Seokkie. We spend nearly almost all out time together. Just this evening, we all sat together and watched films, like we do every Friday." Sangmin said, wincing a little as Yongseok swore.

"But who was sat together cuddling? You and Casper. Who are the two who get to hold hands in public? You and Casper. Who gets all the attention from me and nothing in return? Fucking you and fucking Casper! I give you my heart, mind, body and soul, and what do I get? a few kisses and a fuck if I'm lucky. I didn't join this relationship to be your third wheel! I joined this relationship to your boyfriend, not someone you have to tolerate at best. You can't get your hands off of each other for one second to even ask if I'm ok. And I'm sick and tired of it!" Yongseok started to shout, jumping out of the bed and standing up.

Casper sat up, brow narrowing "Yongseok, don't shout at Sangmin like that. I'm sure if you sit down we can talk about this rationally."

"Casper, I'm not a fucking child, don't talk to me like one!" Yongseok said, trying to stand his ground and look tough but he couldn't prevent the two constant streams of tears down his face.

"Well stop acting like one and I won't treat you like one. Sit down and we can talk about this properly." Casper said, voice calm but commanding at the same time as he wrapped his arm around Sangmin's waist. Normally, Yongseok would instantly shut up, sit down and listen. But not this time, he'd had enough of them both. He could live without them both now.

"No, I'm not going to! I've had enough of you two giving absolutely nothing and expecting the world from me! You want me to sit down and talk about this rationally but when was the last time one of you talked to me without the other being there? You never do! The only time we talk is when someone else is with you!" Yongseok shouted, walking up to the closet and pulling his suitcase from out of it before beginning to toss his clothes in wildly.

"Seokkie, what are you doing?" Sangmin asked, sitting on the of the bed and looking over Yongseok's shoulder at the suitcase.

"What does it look like, Sangmin? I'm leaving you both." Yongseok said, voice bitter but admitting what he had been thinking out loud made him burst into renewed tears, choking back sobs as he rummaged through the closet for everything that was his and threw it into a pile.

"But why? Give us a chance to sort this out!" Sangmin pleaded, looking back at Casper nervously before turning to Yongseok again.

"No, I can't. Because you two didn't notice I was suffering like this. You never even bothered to ask how my day went most days, too caught up in each other's work problems. I can't do this anymore." Yongseok said, throwing the last of his clothes in the suitcase and picking it up. He grabbed his phone from the table and turned to face the bed.

"I'm going to stay with Seyoung tonight. If you want to apologise, you can call me in the morning." He said before turning away and walking down the stairs, grabbing his coat and sitting on the front step of the house, wrapping his coat around him. He called Seyoung, wiped his eyes and on the second ring, Seyoung picked up.

"Heya Yongseok, is everything ok? You're normally in bed by now." Seyoung said, his happy voice making Yongseok stop sniffling.

"I need you to come and pick me up," Yongseok said quietly.

"Has something happened? Did you finally tell them?"

"Yeah."

"I'll see you soon then."

The phone call ended and Yongseok leant against the wall, blowing on his hands to warm them up. His thin coat wasn't doing much to keep out the night wind and he soon began shivering, burying his head in his arms. He stayed like that for what seemed like hours until he felt a hand on his shoulder, and jerked his head up.

"Hey, hey, it's just me." Seyoung said quietly, squatting down next to Yongseok. "Wow, you left in a hurry and all. You're still in your pyjamas. Come on, I'll take you back to mine and you can crash with me. Sound good?" He asked, placing an arm around Yongseok. The younger boy looked up and nodded, standing up and stretching. 

"I just want to be away from them, please." Yongseok murmured.

"You don't have to see them until you want to, ok? You'll be safe with me." Seyoung said with a small smile, leading Yongseok back to his car and away from the hose that he now hated the sight of


End file.
